Boundaries

Strong boundaries, am I talking about fence lines ? No I'm talking energetic boundaries, the most important kind of boundary. So what do I mean by a strong energetic boundary, well I will give you an example of a soft or weak one. Are you always saying yes to things to please others? You get invited out to a party, you really want to stay home but you "feel obliged" to go so your friend does not get upset with you. Or you are asked if you can help a famliy member or friend with something, you have been so busy yourself and are feeling burnt out and just want a day to relax and re-coup your energy, but instead you say "yes" instead of no. Then you suffer the consequences later of stress, overwhelm and exhaustion as you did not listen to your inner guidance that was telling you to take some down time. Sound familiar? If it does, then you my friend need to work on creating some stronger boundaries!

Creating strong boundaries means saying "no" instead of "yes" more, this is not selfish, it's quite the opposite, it becomes empowering, as you start to look after the most important person on the planet - YOU. Am I saying you never help people again, no far from it, but by learning your own limits and what works for your body, you will be able to maintain your ENERGY levels better, thereby being able to help more people in the long run. But if you are constantly doing for others and not yourself, its a fast train to exhaustion and nervous breakdown.

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You will also find your TRUE FRIENDS fast, those that are true will respect your new found choices, those that are FALSE, eg the energy vampires will disappear fast as they realize they can no longer CONTROL you anymore.

This is also so very relevant in relationships, even more so, we have all been in those relationships which are un-balanced or perhaps been worse, the empath vs narcissist is a vey common theme. The empath wants to help heal, protect others so by their very nature they attract the wounded to them. The narcissist is incapable of creating their own energy source so seek out others to draw off, creating a very toxic co-dependency type relationship.

If you are in this type of relationship, then I guarantee that you have zero energetic boundaries and you are constantly dealing with one drama after another and in an emotional roller coaster as the push pull fight between you plays out.

So some easy starter points if you want to strengthen your boundaries, next time you are asked to help a friend, take a pause before saying yes. Focus on how you are feeling, does the thought of this give you a sick feeling in your tummy , you know the one you usually get , but you still say yes? If so, then politely, but firmly decline and say unfortunately you are not able to help them out this time. Stay very strong and firm in your decision, as they other person may plead and push you to change your mind, you may also fail on this the first few attempts. If so do not beat yourself up, this worsens the cycle, just do it the next time and stay STRONG. On the other hand you may be feeling great and you are quite able to help out on this occasion. On either scenario the important thing I want you notice is how you FEEL in that moment! Pay attention each time, this is your inner guidance - INTUITION talking to you!

The more you practice this connection to self exercise the stronger you become and the stronger your energetic boundaries become, you will feel more empowered and your life will change in so many ways. People will be attracted to you more as your light will shine brighter as you are taking control of your energetic body and not allowing others to drain it. And if you are in a relationship like I've mentioned above , there will come a time when you can no longer tolerate the emotional turmoil and when you reach that point you may need some extra help if you decide to leave that relationship. Energetic hooks can be created that are hard to remove by yourself, sometimes it is helpful to have a healing session to be able to release that energetic chord to the toxic person. Reach out if you are in this situation.

I send you all many blessings and love on your journey to strengthen your boundaries, comment below if this resonates with you.

Tabitha Marie X